The gift of your presence (2014)

“Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’” (Matthew 26:36-38)

There may be no more poignant reminder that Jesus was not only fully God but fully man than this passage from the last days of Jesus’ life. Facing an impending betrayal and certain death, Jesus walks into the Garden of Gethsemane to be with his Father, and says to Peter, James, and John, “stay with me.” In this moment of incredible agony, where he will be confronted by the temptation to give up his march to the cross, Jesus does not want to be alone, but asks his friends to remain with him.

Many of us have found ourselves watching a loved one facing a time of intense suffering, wishing that there was something we could do to make it all better. Sometimes there are little things that can be done, like sending a card, or paying a bill, or watching their children. Other times, however, we may feel helpless, as we have nothing to give but our presence. But as we learn from Jesus in Gethsemane, our presence is not a small gift. Our willingness to share in another’s suffering by simply being with them can provide our suffering loved one with the encouragement and love to help them through another day, knowing that they are not going through this trial alone.

Joe Bayly, a man who watched three sons die, testified to this in his book The view from a Hearse:

“I was sitting, torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God’s dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly. He said things I knew were true. I wished he would go away. And he finally did. Another came and sat beside me. He didn’t talk. He didn’t ask leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour, or more. He listened when I said something. He answered briefly. He prayed simply. And he left. I hated to see him go.”

Once a month for the past seven years, I have visited Mary Grove, a long-time member of NewLife, in whatever nursing home she has lived in. At first, the visits were pleasant; over the past year, they have been more difficult, as Mary now resides in Bristol, and has a trach in her neck that helps her breathe but prevents her from speaking. There is not much I can do for her, and sadly she will probably never be able to speak again until the day she dies. But as others who have been in similar situations have testified, it is the simple presence of a friend that ministers deeper than anything else. It is the hug, the touch, the smile, the prayer, and the good-bye until we meet again that gives just enough love and strength to face another day.
Our age of text messaging and emails may make it easier to connect with a great number of people, but it also increases the power that we can have by our physical presence with someone. So today, take some time to consider those in your life who are suffering, and make a plan to share the gift of your presence with someone today. If even the Son of God desired the presence of His friends in the midst of His trial, how much more do the men and women of our world need the presence of a friend in times of suffering.