Are you loving or enabling?

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else,for each one should carry his own load." (Galatians 6:2-5)

At first glance, Paul seems to say two contradictory things in Galatians 6:2-5. On the one hand, Paul exhorts us in verse 2 to carry each other’s burdens, so as to fulfill the law of Christ (the law of loving our neighbor as ourselves). But three short verses later, he declares that each person should carry his own load, implying the need for individuals to get by on their own without help from others. Many of you truly desire to love people in your life who have real needs. I believe it can be critical to understand what Paul is trying to say here. Here is my take:

Some burdens in life are too heavy for one person to carry, and require help from others. Think of experiencing a devastating loss, or dealing with an ongoing illness or period of unemployment, or losing one’s every day abilities as one ages. In verse 3-4, Paul exhorts his listeners not to look down on people who can not carry such oppressive burdens by themselves, but to recognize that there but for the grace of God go we. In those situations, we are encouraged to share in the suffering of others, shouldering some of their burden, whether financially, emotionally, or with our time or prayer.

Other burdens, however, are simply the responsibilities that come with being a mature human being. In those cases, Paul is saying that we each have a responsibility to bear our own load, and not to look to someone else to do for us what we can do for ourselves. For example, every adult has the responsibility to take care of their family, to pay their bills, and to put food on the table. It is not the responsibility of other people to do that for us. Some of you may have people in your lives who are looking to you, to the church, or even the government to manage their lives. And you might feel the temptation at times to step in, thinking that it is the loving thing to do. But the Bible teaches that each adult has a responsibility to bear his own load. Listen to Paul’s words:

2 Thessalonians 3:7-12 - For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, 8 nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. 9 We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. 10 For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat." 11 We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 12 Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat.

In Galatians 6, we see Paul teaching both mutual accountability and personal responsibility. As God’s family, we are to be a community that is quick and eager to help out our brothers and sisters when they have burdens that are too oppressive for them to carry by themselves. But we must be careful that in exercising that care, we do not enable others to become dependent upon others for what is ultimately their responsibility. A man must reap what he has sown. If someone will not fulfill their own responsibilities, then it may take feeling the sting of hunger and poverty for them to finally grow up and become a mature, responsible adult. And withholding our help, so that they might grow up to maturity, could in the end be the most loving thing to do.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11)