Do you love it when others suffer?

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15)

Sports, and in particular rooting for sports teams, can so often bring out the worst in people. I want my team to win – and sometimes just as much, I want YOUR team to lose. As the saying goes, “my two favorite teams are the Red Sox and whoever is playing the Yankees.” The competitive nature of sports makes it almost second nature to rejoice at the misfortune of others, to cheer while others agonize.

Not so in the church, Paul writes in Romans 12. Such competitiveness has no place in the family of God. In the fellowship of believers, we are to rejoice when others rejoice, and to mourn when others mourn. We are not competing for the “most spiritual” award, and we do not suddenly become more godly when the church down the street has a scandal, or another Christian experiences a moral failure.

As a pastor, this is something I continually have to guard against. When another church is struggling, my gut reaction can be one of competitive delight – rejoicing when others mourn. But that reaction is entirely out of line, sinful, of the devil. In the body of Christ, we are all members of each other – on the same team, so to speak – and when one part of the body suffers, we all suffer.

The same goes for our relationship with our brothers and sisters in Christ. If someone’s marriage is struggling, or their kids are rebelling, you may find yourself internally rejoicing, because their misfortune makes you feel better about yourself. Again, you may not be alone in experiencing that emotion, but it is still not from God, but from the enemy. When one part of the body suffers, we all suffer.

The antidote, I have found, is found in two places. First, it is found in relationship, in knowing and loving my brothers and sisters in Christ, so that I truly desire the best for them and become genuinely upset when they suffer and genuinely rejoice when they experience success. Secondly, it is found in the gospel, in finding my identity as a sinner saved by grace, a beloved child of God who knows that anything good in my life is a gift of grace from God, not a product of my own good works, intellect, or anything else. How can I boast or take pride in myself in relation to someone else, when anything that is right in my life or ministry is entirely a gift from God?

In the end, I don’t expect Red Sox fans to stop rejoicing when the Yankees lose, or Giants fans to quit hoping that Tom Brady suddenly loses the ability to throw a football. But I do expect, and pray for, God’s church to lay down any competitive spirit we might have, and instead rejoice when others rejoice and mourn when others mourn, so that we might truly love each other as Christ loves us and bring glory to our God.