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Posts tagged with Marriage

December 8, 2020 by Eric Stillman 0 comments

And they lived disappointedly ever after

In 2001, Judith Wallerstein, Julia Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee wrote a New York Times bestselling book called The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study. Their study was groundbreaking in that it studied the children of divorce over a 25-year span, describing how a couple’s decision to divorce affects their children not just when they are young, but more conspicuously as they grow up and enter romantic relationships of their own. I read the book about five years ago and found it fascinating. One of the lines that has always stuck with me is this one: “If parenting has been good, children stand to lose enormously from divorce. Clearly they are better off if the unhappy parents stay married and learn to accept their mutual disappointment.”...Keep Reading

Tags: Relationships, Marriage, divorce

October 20, 2020 by Eric Stillman 0 comments

Your spouse is not the enemy

I have the privilege of doing marriage counseling on occasion with couples going through difficult times. One of the resources that has really helped me is Sue Johnson’s book “Hold Me Tight” (she has a more explicitly Christian version called “Created for Connection”). Johnson talks about a pattern of communication that couples often get into called “Find the Bad Guy” (otherwise known as “It’s not me, it’s you”), where the husband and wife go back and forth blaming each other for whatever the problem is. I’m sure many of you are painfully familiar with this dance: “I hate when you do this…”; “Well I do this because you do that!” “Well, I only do that because you are like THAT!” And round and round they go, blaming each other for everything that is wrong....Keep Reading

Tags: Spiritual Warfare, Marriage

November 20, 2019 by Eric Stillman 0 comments

Answering the "so what?" question in preaching

I was in a conversation with someone recently who asked me what the hardest part of preaching is. There are many things that are challenging about it ...Keep Reading

Tags: Preaching, Marriage

February 6, 2018 by Eric Stillman 0 comments

American marriage myths

The sixth chapter of “This is our time” is entitled Marriage Matters. In this chapter, Wax examines the myths surrounding romantic love and marriage in America. He talks about the two extremes he sees in the world: on one end (in cultures with arranged marriages), there is marriage as a contract, where romantic love plays no part. On the other end of the spectrum is what often passes for marriage in America (myth #1), where it is just an expression of intense, romantic love, with no expectation that it will be forever if the feelings fade. Marriage as designed by God is somewhere in the middle, as best illustrated by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who wrote “It is not your love that upholds marriage, but from now on it is marriage that upholds your love.” In other words, romantic love matters in marriage, but the foundation is the commitment made to each other by a husband and wife. ...Keep Reading

Tags: Culture, Marriage